Feelings

In the preparation class the ability to describe our emotions came up during a discussion about symbols and what meanings we assign to symbols. I have thought a lot about that since then and planned to do a write up of some of my thoughts. I worked in the BYU campus counseling center for a few years and remembered there was a worksheet with feelings words and so I went in and picked one up to see what they had.

This is an appropriate time write some of my thoughts on feelings because I have been having a lot lately, physical, mental, and emotional. My body decided to have its own spring break while school continued on without me.  The first day I started to feel sick it progressed throughout the day to be somewhat unbearable. I called my friend who uses herbal medicine techniques and asked if they could help me at all. Their first question to me was, what are you feeling?  What are you experiencing? My first thought, sick and all, was about class and if my ability to describe my feelings had improved at all since thinking about it in class. I feel like it has simply because I am more aware of trying to be descriptive.

This concept of awareness, awareness of self, others and surroundings is an important skill to develop for field work. We have done three specific methods practice exercises for class so far. I chose to do one interview and two participant observation practices because I plan to do most of my research through observation. This taught me that thinking ahead of time about needing to be aware was the biggest factor in being aware during an experience, taking the time to be and setting up a plan. It seems like every day in the field I will be waking up and thinking to myself, look around you today, listen, smell, think deeply about it and then learn to describe it. The awareness part came, but I am still working on writing what I experienced descriptively so that others can experience it through me.     
Here are a few of my favorite words at the moment from my counseling center word bank:

Agitated
Apprehensive
Burdened
Captivated
Defensive
Eager
Encouraged
Exhausted
Fascinated
Fretting
Hurried
Inspired
Overwhelmed
Sore
Wonderful 

I think I have felt all of these things over the last week with regards to my preparation and the prospects of going to India. My last thought about all this emotion describing is, of course, language related. Not every word in every language has a translation, and sometimes there are multiple translations that might work or the translator might use. My second language experience so far is one that appears to use, maybe not have but use, significantly less adjectives than I use in my native language.  Delicious and Beautiful (the English translations of these words) are two adjectives used to de scribe most things. The day is beautiful, the girl is beautiful, the experience or feeling after any variety of events...beautiful. As for delicious, well my dinner was delicious but so was my sleep and so was my exercise routine and that great conversation I had with my best friend.

I wonder what aspects of the Tibetan language affect the way they describe what is happening to them and how that also changes the way they conceptualize their experience in comparison to someone in another language? My use of negative or positive adjectives changes my experience, so the lack of certain kinds of words or the lack of using them may also affect the day-to-day experience of a people and I will be looking for these kinds of things as I try to be more aware of the lives of the Tibetan people in India and what their language, and the way they use their language, has to say about them. On that note, I ordered three different grammar and phrase books in Tibetan and I am anxious to take some of the time I don't really have and start working on reading through them more.